Consultancy Connoisseur Gifts

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

Men's business romper.

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"He's an abstract artist."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"It's called 'Sold'."

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"Who's the artist?"

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."