Call Connoisseur Gifts

The Sequels

"Your call is important to us, you are currently number two hundred and eighty in a queue of two hundred and eighty three...!!"

"The only calls not dropped are to your tech support."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Men gossiping

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

'You see this app? It starts a revolution.'

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

"Hold that afterthought!"

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

Working from Home

Phone generation.