Call Connoisseur Pillows

The Sequels

"Your call is important to us, you are currently number two hundred and eighty in a queue of two hundred and eighty three...!!"

"The only calls not dropped are to your tech support."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Men gossiping

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'You see this app? It starts a revolution.'

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

White Wine Wisdom (2)

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"Hold that afterthought!"

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

Working from Home

Phone generation.

"She never has a bad word to say about anyone, she's always too busy talking about herself..."

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"The demise of psychoanalysis? Yes, I saw it coming but you know how it is... denial... repression... projection... compartmentalisation..."