Chat Connoisseur Pillows

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Men gossiping

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Trappist talk show.

Barbed Pen

Go on! Pick a card.

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

Snow White and the Seven Dorks.

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer addict

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'This is our real-time chat room.'