Curtain Call Connoisseur Gifts

At Astley's

Stage Hand

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"Could someone please get a plaque made? A famous actor has just died in our theatre."

'They all want to play the star.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Binge Watch

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Goal!"

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

Drama Llama

'I like to wear women's collars.'

Curtains haberdashery

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"I see a couch."

Staycation Photos

Waiting Room For Godot.

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

E-Z Livin'

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'Mamma Mia, Les Mis, Leveson inquiry...'

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

'The best part about working from home is NOT working from home.'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"