Curtain Call Connoisseur Gifts

At Astley's

Stage Hand

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"Could someone please get a plaque made? A famous actor has just died in our theatre."

'They all want to play the star.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"Goal!"

Binge Watch

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

Drama Llama

'I like to wear women's collars.'

Curtains haberdashery

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

"I see a couch."

Waiting Room For Godot.

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

Staycation Photos

John Woodvine

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

E-Z Livin'

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'The best part about working from home is NOT working from home.'