Curtain-call Aficionados Gifts

'They all want to play the star.'

Taking a peek at the audience

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Curtains haberdashery

Drama Llama

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Bravo!

Waiting Room For Godot.

'Mamma Mia, Les Mis, Leveson inquiry...'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'

"Congratulations on opening night."

'Scratching these curtains will be the greatest performance of my life.'

Book and magician

Robinson Crusoe on the phone - "Big job. No problem, it'll be done by Friday."

'Look at it out there, Jones. Successful businesses as far as the eyes can see... We're gonna need some curtains.'

"I'm ordering curtains for our neighbor, the Retirement Home for Lawyers Without Briefs."

Aklexander Graham Bell, making the first call from New York to Chicago, gets a wrong number.

'Thomas won't stay off the stage. He loves his part in the school play - he's the commercial.'

"Terrific! A hit! Broadway at its best!"

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

At Astley's

'I'm just adding to my collection of figurines.'

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

"And I'm telling you the curtains always looked like that."

"Could someone please get a plaque made? A famous actor has just died in our theatre."

Turkey Hotline

"Mr Potts, could you step behind the curtain and get undressed please."

'I'm your agent! You're going to have to do another swansong.'