Service Connoisseur Gifts

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

the food is nothing but the service

"What do I have to do to get the bartender's attention? Set myself on fire?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Hats and Food

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Yummy Mummies

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

What's the insect de jour?

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"I can't wait for things to get back to normal."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

Satis Factory Tour

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Doughnut Criminals

'Waiter, there's a mysterious stain on this napkin.'

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."