Consulting Enthusiast Gifts

"What sort of job are you after?" "I don't want a job. I want to be a consultant!"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

The Rubber Ball Company

Time Is Money

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

"Just go with the workflow."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"I love fast break business success."

Decision Making Block

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Subordinate Employee