Consulting Enthusiast Prints

"What sort of job are you after?" "I don't want a job. I want to be a consultant!"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

The Rubber Ball Company

Time Is Money

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

Decision Making Block

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"I love fast break business success."

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Subordinate Employee

'This is a job for a consultant.'