Consultation Enthusiast T-Shirts

An hour's free consultation...

'Actions may speak louder than words - but they cost money.'

"Consult the people by all means, Your Majesty, but I don't think a referendum is a good idea."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Could I ask just one question?"

Time Is Money

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)