Club Connoisseur Gifts

'This course is a great ego builder.'

"This place used to be exclusive."

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'Actually, I was hoping for oversized with a graphite shaft'

"....and I'll have a glass of the house blue."

"So what books don't you get around to reading?"

"Dry sherry sir..?"

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

"I often mistake a twenty pound note for a membership card."

The Croucho Club

Sorry Mister...Oh nice carbons

"I'm looking for a dreamboat - not a shipwreck."

Golf Hierarchy

'Probably a nine iron, or in your case, nine iron, nine iron, nine iron. . .'

'That's quite an offset on your driver. Is that a new design?' 'No, it's an old design from beating it into the ground after years of lousy drives.'

"I have wealth, but I've never felt encumbered by it."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'Don't look now, but here comes the club boar.'

"Well gentlemen, I think it's time we rejoined the ladyboys."

'Of course, they're all married - this is a singles bar.'

Club Sketches - Cause and Effect.

Procedure - A Fact.

You'd like the eco club. We do good stuff. I'm sure. But there are a lot of clubs. Right? Right. And they all need "diversity," right? So you need to cut the best deal. West Fester High School. I have attractive offers from the debate team, chess club and the cheerleaders. Our 100% green t-shirt doesn't entice you.

"Do all dance battles end like that?"

"Can you help me out? I'm a little bit short with my club dues."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Wifi in Hell

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Hats and Food

Yummy Mummies

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."