Bunker Dodger Gifts

'Charlie, you've been dredging your sand from the golf courses again.'

'Hole in one!!!!'

God in the bunker.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

Safe harbour

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Spring Damage.

"I hate sand traps."

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

It is important that the aspiring golfer learns the meaning of certain golfing terms, so that he can understand what his fellow sportsmen are saying to him.

"That's not a haboob. It's Ed trying to get his ball out of a bunker."

'Evidence is that increased extreme weather is due to climate change.'

'I am preparing for 2013, and I suggest you do the same.'

'Bunker? It should be called a trench because that's where the real war starts!'

'SOME bunker this, eh?'

Bowling.

Man knocked out by doorframe leading into a basketball court.

Today, our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington. In my day, we built bunkers ten feet underground and stocked them with tuna fish. We planned to sit out the apocalypse down there, eating tuna on crackers and playing Scrabble. Tomorrow, our quest continues ...

"Stupid flu season."

"I'll stick to my survivalist bunker."

"O.K., doomer."

"I wonder if we might benefit from socializing more with those who don't harbor anti-government views."

'Sorry we're late, we had trouble finding you.'

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

Like Obama, But White

I hate this bunker!

'I hate this bunker.'