Budget-conscious Motorist Gifts

Gas Bar - "Fill it up with last week's gas, you know the stuff that was ten cents cheaper."

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Underwater on the Car

Garage Music

I think I can...

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

"Keep in mind it's only a concept at this point."

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

Low income vampires.

Affordable housing

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

Al's Kwiki-Fix Garage. Why is it that when you guys "run over the estimate", you're never backing up? (Published previously on 1/24/2000.)

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

G.P.S. for Poor Math Students

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

"If this is a bit beyond your budget then I've got a shoebox coming available next week!"

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

'Granted, the burros are a lot slower than chair lifts. But for a quarter the price of a regular lift ticket, I'm all for it.'

Wine Prices

Basic Shelter.

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."