Cost-conscious Driver Gifts

Alcoholics And Gasoholics

I think I can...

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Elevator charge $1.00.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

Underwater on the Car

Garage Music

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

Peak Oil - 'Are we there yet, Dad?'

Al's Kwiki-Fix Garage. Why is it that when you guys "run over the estimate", you're never backing up? (Published previously on 1/24/2000.)

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

January Sales

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

Tattoos! $50 and Tattoos Removed! $10,000.

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"