Cost-conscious Traveler Gifts

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'It's just our way of saying, 'to hell with high gas prices!''

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Cheapskate Cruises

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

World's cheapest car

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Expensive greeting cards.

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Airline Mergers.

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Europe on $5000 a day.

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess