Cost-conscious Traveler Pillows

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'It's just our way of saying, 'to hell with high gas prices!''

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

Cheapskate Cruises

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Expensive greeting cards.

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

World's cheapest car

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

Airline Mergers.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Europe on $5000 a day.

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."