Budget-conscious Traveler Gifts

"Uninsured? That needn't be a problem. We can refer you to a very fine doctor in Ottawa."

'Where is the cheapest place to get a beer?'

'The army has such little funding they've cancelled our tour of duty...It's now a back-packing trek of duty!'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines, are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'He must be going economy!'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Cheapskate Cruises

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Expensive greeting cards.

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

World's cheapest car

Airline Mergers.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Europe on $5000 a day.

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."