Budget-conscious Jokers Gifts

"Brian refuses to give in to inflationary pressures."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'The test results are in. We've ruled out anything cheap.'

"But is it Organic?"

Budget Opticians.

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'

'Cuts in Roman times.'

"There is no 'virtual arrest button', you'll have to get off your butt and do it manually."

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

"Whoah, triple denim!"

80 Million Euros for a football player.

"Sorry, we're trying to save money, hence the wind-up pacemaker."

'It was a gift from AARP.'

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

'I can tell when it's getting close to New Year's.. my liver starts to quiver.'

'Great, more trans-fats and cholesterol!'

'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

'...Or, if you're on a budget, there's always the La Brea tar pits.'

Dog with recurring nightmare.

'Oh, Honey...I know you want a little addition to the family - But we just can't afford a 48 inch flat screen plasma.'

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

Lightning Bug Bullies

''Earn our bread by the sweat of our brow'? -- is that sanitary?'

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."

'We're rich beyond our wildest dreams. We've struck printer ink!'

'Here, hold my dentures.'