Budget-conscious Chuckler Gifts

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Moo-Magrams Exams

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

Budget Opticians.

"I keep forgetting. When do I cluck and when do I double-cluck?"

'Cuts in Roman times.'

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

'Before I give you the bill,do you suffer from heart trouble, high blood pressure,or sudden shock syndrome?'

'I warned you, Dr. Jekyll. It was a bad idea to give an additional credit card to Mr. Hyde.'

80 Million Euros for a football player.

'I know the zoo had cutbacks but this is ridiculous!'

"Honestly, I think this was a waste of money."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

'...Or, if you're on a budget, there's always the La Brea tar pits.'

"I can't call nobody on this newfangled dang cellular telephone!"

'Oh, Honey...I know you want a little addition to the family - But we just can't afford a 48 inch flat screen plasma.'

Man buying 'Caviar Wiz'

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."

'He says it's cheaper than hiring border guards.'

This next request goes out to the big spender who would like to hear 25 cents' worth of "Louie Louie."

The Stimulus.

"The shop was so quiet I could hear your overdraft growing."

"It's a small town with a very small budget!"

Melvin couldn't afford a crown for his tooth so he got what he could with twenty bucks.

'I can't afford em - Will you kill me?'

'Thanks Clyde for an entertaining evening. The forty nine cent hamburger and the ten cent tip will long live in my memory.'

'Thank goodness Robert Green deflected attention.'

"I'm afraid we couldn't afford an artificial so we transplanted yours with a can of peaches."

'When I was your age, you could live all year on a billion dollars.'

"I got the idea from community care....They had an article about Megan, the first social work dog!"