Budget-conscious Jokers Pillows

"Brian refuses to give in to inflationary pressures."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

Google signwriter.

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'The test results are in. We've ruled out anything cheap.'

Budget Opticians.

"But is it Organic?"

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

"Whoah, triple denim!"

80 Million Euros for a football player.

"There is no 'virtual arrest button', you'll have to get off your butt and do it manually."

'Cuts in Roman times.'

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'

"Sorry, we're trying to save money, hence the wind-up pacemaker."

'I can tell when it's getting close to New Year's.. my liver starts to quiver.'

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

'It was a gift from AARP.'

'Great, more trans-fats and cholesterol!'

'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

'...Or, if you're on a budget, there's always the La Brea tar pits.'

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

'Oh, Honey...I know you want a little addition to the family - But we just can't afford a 48 inch flat screen plasma.'

Dog with recurring nightmare.

''Earn our bread by the sweat of our brow'? -- is that sanitary?'

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

Number 6 did it.

Lightning Bug Bullies

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."

'Here, hold my dentures.'