Budget-conscious Joker Pillows

"Sorry, we're trying to save money, hence the wind-up pacemaker."

'The test results are in. We've ruled out anything cheap.'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"We only got six days of funding."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Note Book

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

Toilet humour

Adult Absence Notes.

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

Jim's Smart Kettle

A clown & his clone.

'A room with double beds, please.'

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."