Broken Hearts Club Gifts

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

ONE HORSE TOWN

Drinking Companions

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Welcome Sufferers of Stage Fright

"I don't love you anymore. Let's just be friends."

Snub Marine

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

Cricket wife's revenge 9

"Recently separated."

'This time you hold the nail!'

'I HATE Spring cleaning!'

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

'Some people don't like working from home - they go a bit mad with the solitude.But I've got you, haven't I Mr Floppity Ears.'

Insert Bad Life Here

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

'This next song's for anyone who's feeling a little lonely right now.'

'I had a very lonely childhood. I was an only twin.'

'Poor fellow. One really is the loneliest number.'

Hunters And Gatherers Without Partners.

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

'I find I'm talking to myself a lot these days.'

Every year at the annual 'MoveOn Swim Day', Dan really regretted having dated Grasie Wallace in high school.

"I was so busy worrying that she only loved me because of my money that I lost her AND the money!"

'Eat at my place, I'm very lonely'

the ventriloquist