Healing Heart Club Member Gifts

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

Roasted Peppers

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'He's a changed man since the heart transplant. It came form a liberal.'

Safe driver.

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

Heart Health Levels

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"Cardiac day patients?"

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

"I'm afraid antibiotics aren't of much use for a broken heart!"

Snub Marine

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

A woman repairs a broken heart.

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

'Angiogram.'