Breakthrough Buffs Gifts

'In a recent technological breakthrough, scientists have found the gene that enables humans to find genes. Engineers have began splicing this gene with pig DNA to create a race of lab research slaves. And now on to the weather. . .'

Skiing.

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

Research and Development: 'We've finally done it. An actual cell phone!'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

The breakup

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

Friends often dropped by and subjected Sir Isaac to a little good-natured ridicule.

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

Greatly enlarged view of newly discovered particle.

Newton discovers surrealism

'If you think using a stick is evolutionary, wait till you try one these dipped in chocolate.'

"Finish your anchovies and then you can evolve."

Hunter-Gatherer, Agriculture, Services, Tech. . . Job-Hunter-Gatherer.

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

'Lightening hit the band shell while the orchestra was playing...'

"Y' know Sir - Red really is your colour..."

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

Worm humour

If you see something, say something.

"I found a cure for the humongous cold, the extreme cold and the mother of all colds. Why not the common cold?"

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'