Weaponry Buffs Gifts

'Howitzers at dawn.'

Armed to the teeth.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"But I use all of them!"

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

Newton discovers surrealism

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

Imran Khan

"Lovely weather for it."

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

Sympathy

Cricket.

'Her and her silicone implants!'

'I don't have the patience for this problem.'

'In a recent technological breakthrough, scientists have found the gene that enables humans to find genes. Engineers have began splicing this gene with pig DNA to create a race of lab research slaves. And now on to the weather. . .'

'Jerry! That bus you just cut off says 'Olympic Archery Team' on the side!'

Light Artillery

Sir Louie the Bench-Warmer pumps up the home crowd, and the tide of battle begins to turn.

Toast baseball.

Friends.

Johnnie Ponderous - Part Four

"He started with the gunslinger opening, but quickly ran into the posse defense."

"Before I can write your insurance policy, this place has to be made more accessible. I almost fell in your moat!"

"Can you believe I was denied a 'Concealed Carry' for this?"

The House Always Wins

'...and then the photographer told me to hold the Sharps like this.'

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -

"When your only tool is a trebuchet, every problem looks like a siege."

The archer is better looking, but the fighter has more hit points.