Breakthrough Buffs Pillows

'In a recent technological breakthrough, scientists have found the gene that enables humans to find genes. Engineers have began splicing this gene with pig DNA to create a race of lab research slaves. And now on to the weather. . .'

Skiing.

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Research and Development: 'We've finally done it. An actual cell phone!'

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"I am not afraid of you!"

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

The breakup

Friends often dropped by and subjected Sir Isaac to a little good-natured ridicule.

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

'We've discovered a new breed of shark tat has evolved is dorsal fin to disguise itself,'

Greatly enlarged view of newly discovered particle.

Newton discovers surrealism

Hunter-Gatherer, Agriculture, Services, Tech. . . Job-Hunter-Gatherer.

"Finish your anchovies and then you can evolve."

'This is really going to tarnish his legacy, Al.'

'If you think using a stick is evolutionary, wait till you try one these dipped in chocolate.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

'Lightening hit the band shell while the orchestra was playing...'

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

"I found a cure for the humongous cold, the extreme cold and the mother of all colds. Why not the common cold?"

Worm humour

If you see something, say something.

"These images clearly show we were here long before mankind."

Imran Khan

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

Hairy Potter and friend..