Breakfast Banter Gifts

Receiving the early morning t-mail.

"Your egg is bad? Don't blame me, I only laid the table!"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

Mums coffee morning

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

'I'm looking for people who find me intimidating.'

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

"I'll have the chicken or the eggs benedict—whichever of them comes first."

the Morning Joe team.

'You're listening to no repeat radio where we never play the same song twice! Yeah! No repeat radio! Where you'll never hear the same song twice! Only on no repeat radio!'

Chris Evans

'This corn's got dandruff.'

How do you take your eggs? Like I take my relationships with women: over. Breakfast Menu.

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

The market must be up

'I ordered a blueberry muffin - Not a Blackberry muffin!'

Instant human... just add coffee

'I think it's time we got rid of the espresso maker.'

Cow sneezes milk at breakfast.

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

'The cereal killer has struck again, Sarge.'

'Typical, next door gets an image of Jesus on their toast, and we get Richard Branson!'

"What's the Chef's Surprise Sir? Well, he's VERY surprised his kitchen has just survived a visit from the Government Food and Hygiene Inspector!"

"I was going to wake you up with oral sex this morning, but you looked like you could use the extra sleep."

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

'Is it too early to start driving you out of your mind?'

'I'm gonna tell Mom you ate a bad word!'

'I guess if I looked half as good in the morning as her, you'd spend breakfast with me?'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

The House of Java Cafe was suddenly a house divided. The humble establishment had been divided into faith-based and non-faith-based seating. Heathen! Blasphemer! Cereal-eater! Judgmental scone-lover! You have no values. You have even less! And some walking a not-so-delicate line down the middle. You're all stinkin' losers!

How Life Changes In A Paperless Society.

'If you have a referee in Football, what do you have in bowls?'

"I thought you said you wanted these sunnyside up?"