Brandy Sippers Pillows

Santa and reindeer smoking cigars and drinking a glass of brandy in rocking chairs.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Darlin', I finally figured out the true meaning of life. It's a well=worn chair, a nasty old pipe, cheap brandy and a moth-eaten dog with a sphincter problem."

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

Baby it's cold outside.

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

Beethoven's 10th

Where hard cider comes from.

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

Billy strip: 'whiskey is not a cure for the common cold.'

"I'm a local craftsperson - I make money."

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

'Prayer services held in pub' "Same again please..."

Olde English Delicacies - Maypole Syrup.

Book Prediction Club

"Is the vodka fresh?"

"I'm a white middle aged male and that's who I'm voting for."

Nutcracker and the Sugar Plum Fairy

First There Were Only Two. Then There Was a Third. Trouble Began.

'Happy hour, drinks half price'

Watch out for this guy. Worse than passing bad checks, he asked for instant coffee and nondairy creamer.

'Instead of passing the fat tax on soda, the government requires that people do 10 chin-ups before the cooler will open.'

Temperance Society: Cheese & Wine Evening 7:00 til 7:15.

After Dinner Cigar.

'Oops! Sorry Vicar, your cup runneth over!'

Holy Spirit.