Cocktail Sippers Pillows

"I'm a local craftsperson - I make money."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Beach flirting

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Complaints Desk

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

Baby it's cold outside.

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

'I told you to sip it!'

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

"She already spent summers in New York City without A/C."

'Kids, those video games are going to desensitize you.'

'Don't leave me hanging!'

"Of course some creatures have proved more able to adapt to changing climate conditions than others."

Billy strip: 'whiskey is not a cure for the common cold.'

Dog businessman is smiling at the end of a long work day with his bone martini.

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

Take care. At these parties you can get drunk very quickly.

Where hard cider comes from.

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'