Cocktail Sipper Pillows

"Of course some creatures have proved more able to adapt to changing climate conditions than others."

"Anything interesting for Christmas?"

Take care. At these parties you can get drunk very quickly.

Dog businessman is smiling at the end of a long work day with his bone martini.

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

'It must have been the canapes. He should have mentioned his wheat allergy.'

'I told you to sip it!'

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

'How obvious.'

'Think of all the days you've lost because of hangovers.' 'I know. It's an incentive to stay drunk.'

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

Beach flirting

Complaints Desk

'Kids, those video games are going to desensitize you.'

'Yes, I'm retired but my former coworkers keep calling to find out who they should kiss up to.'

"She already spent summers in New York City without A/C."

"Would I enjoy this more if I hated my job?"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Champagne

Deflator mouse

Beer Stall

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Bryan Ferry

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'