Scotch Sipper Pillows

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Give me a scotch on the rocks and an ambulance chaser please"

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"I forget to drink."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Beach flirting

"Whine and cheezed party."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

A very fine vintage

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

Complaints Desk

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"'60 Minutes' is on."