Scotch Sipper Gifts

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Give me a scotch on the rocks and an ambulance chaser please"

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"I forget to drink."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"Whine and cheezed party."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

Beach flirting

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

Complaints Desk

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

A very fine vintage

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

"'60 Minutes' is on."