Fancy Sipper Gifts

A very fine vintage

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Beach flirting

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

Running Latte

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Anton's Bar and Grill

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Complaints Desk

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"'60 Minutes' is on."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'I told you to sip it!'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Can I get you another coffee?

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."