Fancy Sipper Gifts

A very fine vintage

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Beach flirting

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

Running Latte

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Complaints Desk

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

Anton's Bar and Grill

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"'60 Minutes' is on."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'I told you to sip it!'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Can I get you another coffee?