Sporty Sipper Gifts

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Running Latte

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

Anton's Bar and Grill

A very fine vintage

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Can I get you another coffee?

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

New for Fall

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

"The great is $54.99, and I do have a near-great for $23.99."