Specialty Sipper Gifts

The Coffee Specialist

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Running Latte

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

A very fine vintage

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

Can I get you another coffee?

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

'They sat in an etape, playing bezique and swilling skookum saloop.'

Gin-etic Engineering

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

Shall I draw a cork for us?

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

Wine Prices

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

Olde English Delicacies - Maypole Syrup.

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

Tree Relief

"I'm a citizen of the world, but I'm based in Bayonne."

"When I said we were going public, That didn't mean you were supposed to divulge our secret recipe."

"For those planning to post a nit-picking, fault-finding critique of us online, may I suggest out 'whine and dine' menu."