Sophisticated Sipster Gifts

"...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine."

"Ahh, wine. Grape juice that went on to earn a graduate degree."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Wine Lady

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Wino Appreciation Group

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

A very fine vintage

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Cocktails and Peacocks

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Gin-etic Engineering

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

Scariest Tactics

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

Shall I draw a cork for us?

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

"I highly recommend our featured red. With its markup, what waiter wouldn't?"

Wine Prices

... and fermentation is computer-controlled by a piquant little microchip from the southern slopes of Silicon Valley.

"Here's an idea son, stop trying to order our drinks by text and get yourself up to the bar!"