Scientific Sipper Gifts

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

Gin-etic Engineering

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Running Latte

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"You had me at alternative milk."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

A very fine vintage

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

The youth shows responsibility!

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

Shall I draw a cork for us?

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'