Literary Sipster Gifts

"My book club is doing some really good noir, though I forget if it's pinot or grenache."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Books / Coffee table books

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

William Makepeace Thackeray.

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

The book is so much better than the film..

Waiting Room For Godot.

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"I used to write page-turners, but my MFA cured me of that."

To sleep, perchance to wake up as a different person.

Poet's Corner

"He was murdered with one of the rejection slips he sent."

Watch the author miss his deadline 4 to 7