Satirical Sipper Gifts

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Nun Fight.

What do you suggest we do about this?

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

Liquidity Lunch

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Sipsies?"

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"Next year, let's go someplace where the locals resent the tourists in a language we don't understand."

Hedge of two moo cows

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

Euphemistic.

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

Clowns in and out tray 'Grin and Pout'

'Water? Oh, that's good! Hah hah hah! How very droll! No, sorry old man, no water here... This is a CULTURAL oasis!'

St George at the psychiatrists.

Bad business inc.

'Remember? It's me, Rick. I used to have the probe attached to my brain...'

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'

"Yeah...maybe we just leave this part out."

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

"I guess the German takeover was successful."

US troops Exit Afghanistan.