Satirical Sipper Mugs

Waiter, there's a fly drowning in my soup. Try mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

"More wine?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Nun Fight.

What do you suggest we do about this?

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

Liquidity Lunch

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Euphemistic.

"Next year, let's go someplace where the locals resent the tourists in a language we don't understand."

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

Hedge of two moo cows

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"Sipsies?"

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

Clowns in and out tray 'Grin and Pout'

'Water? Oh, that's good! Hah hah hah! How very droll! No, sorry old man, no water here... This is a CULTURAL oasis!'

St George at the psychiatrists.

Bad business inc.

Bird droppings on painter's canvas praised as great art.

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'

Men's Parallel Bars

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

"I guess the German takeover was successful."

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."