Sophisticated Sipster T-Shirts

"Ahh, wine. Grape juice that went on to earn a graduate degree."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Wine Lady

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

A very fine vintage

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Wino Appreciation Group

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Cocktails and Peacocks

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Gin-etic Engineering

Scariest Tactics

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

Shall I draw a cork for us?

"I highly recommend our featured red. With its markup, what waiter wouldn't?"

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

Wine Prices

... and fermentation is computer-controlled by a piquant little microchip from the southern slopes of Silicon Valley.

"Here's an idea son, stop trying to order our drinks by text and get yourself up to the bar!"

"My book club is doing some really good noir, though I forget if it's pinot or grenache."