Tech-savvy Sipper Gifts

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

'Rest assured that your information will not be shared. Now, where can I e-mail the receipt?'

It's not a call. It's a coffee app that vibrates when I've had too much.

... and fermentation is computer-controlled by a piquant little microchip from the southern slopes of Silicon Valley.

'The nice thing about my wine library is, I can't accidentally leave it on the bus.'

"Here's an idea son, stop trying to order our drinks by text and get yourself up to the bar!"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Something photogenic for each of us."

'How long you planning on staying up there, Bill?'

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Questions Online

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Can I get you another coffee?

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

Gin-etic Engineering

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

"They misspelled your avatar."

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

Shall I draw a cork for us?

Absent Friends Reunited.

Recreational and Medicinal Wines