Tech-savvy Drinker Gifts

"Heads up, Mr. B. Come February, we make the switch to high-def booze."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'It's a special deal we're only offering our regulars. We bundle your internet, cell phone, and bar tab in one convenient bill.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Wine Lady

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

The drinker.

"Eewww! It still makes a lousy cup of coffee!"

"Something photogenic for each of us."

"Christmas pudcast"

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

'Trust you, Filkins, to harp on the ONE TINY FLAW in the online global infrastructure.' (Technology dependent on electricty)

Prosecco Drinker

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

Cocktails and Peacocks

Questions Online

"The rules don't say anything about Airbnb-ing your property to help pay off the mortgage."

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

'It's my favorite Christmas gift - a wireless computer mouse that looks just like my old fountain pen!'

"They misspelled your avatar."

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"If fishing wasn't bad enough, we now have to worry about phishing, too."

'Whatever happened to swirl, sniff and taste?'

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

Absent Friends Reunited.

Reminder from my Telebartender. Gotta go!