Tech-savvy Smoker Gifts

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"Who can we call?"

'Do you mind!!?'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

GPS, satellite dish, cell phone...nature awaits. All right, Pop. Nature awaits!

Modern camping

"Eewww! It still makes a lousy cup of coffee!"

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

"The dog wants out again!"

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"This is an expensive habit - I keep stubbing out my e-cigarettes."

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

Living in a snow globe.

'That brush - how many dpi?'

'I always come outside for a smoke.'

Snowman with 'No Smoking' sign.

"It's a special golf bag for beginners - It has a built-in GPS."

Nature is not perfect

igloo smoking zone...

'They come down here to smoke.'

'Now you can surf and turf.'

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Latest in Microwave Technology."

"It's great to finally be away from the city!"