Tech-savvy Smoker T-Shirts

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"Who can we call?"

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

'Do you mind!!?'

GPS, satellite dish, cell phone...nature awaits. All right, Pop. Nature awaits!

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

Modern camping

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

"Eewww! It still makes a lousy cup of coffee!"

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"The dog wants out again!"

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

"This is an expensive habit - I keep stubbing out my e-cigarettes."

Nature is not perfect

'They come down here to smoke.'

'That brush - how many dpi?'

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

Living in a snow globe.

'I always come outside for a smoke.'

igloo smoking zone...

"It's a special golf bag for beginners - It has a built-in GPS."

Snowman with 'No Smoking' sign.

'Now you can surf and turf.'

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Ahh, nothing like getting back to nature."

"It's great to finally be away from the city!"