Sophisticated Smoker Gifts

After Dinner Cigar.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Wine Lady

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'I'm an atheist!'

Merry Christmas.

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

'I started as an office boy and growled my way to the top.'

"I can really taste my food since giving up smoking, so I've started again."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

Portrait of Shakespeare smoking.

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

Cocktails and Peacocks

"They're boulettes de viande. They're meatballs. They're balls of meat."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

The four major food groups.

Vaping cigarette

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

Albert Camus

Mashed potatoes...

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

'These new ideas are silly, Father, the boiled tobacco tasted awful and you've spent an age trying to light that potato.'

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

"Mr Hudson, could you kindly refrain from smoking in the brain scan machine."

The Farmer's Return.