Smoking Connoisseur Gifts

"20 Low tar please."

Nanny state gone mad: 'It's not big and it's not clever.'

No Smoking

"My wife left me for a vape. . ."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Selling lemon latt�

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"At this office no two days are different."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'These are job perks.'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Allegro con molto espresso

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Espresso Martini Peacock

'Who gets the decaf?'

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

Tired Barbie

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

"Mail's here."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.