Cigarette Enthusiast Gifts

'Wot next ? ---one out of the 'SMOKING SHORTENS YOUR LIFE' packet or shall we give 'SMOKING KILLS' a go ?'

"Look! A camel!"

Man going out for a cigarette from a lighthouse.

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

'No I haven't got a light, shove off!'

'I never met a cigarette I didn't like.'

Non-smoking pubs.

'Tell His Majesty we really do need some more ashtrays.'

Man in pub reads book: The Joy of Cigs.

"No cause for alarm, we're just the voices in your head on a ciggy break."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'I'm an atheist!'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'I started as an office boy and growled my way to the top.'

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

Merry Christmas.

"I can really taste my food since giving up smoking, so I've started again."

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

'Harold took the advice of the 'experts' and only invested in things he understood, which is why our portfolio consists entirely of Anheuser-Busch and Phillip Morris.'

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

"What?!"

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

José Saramago

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

Remote control car breakdown.

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

Portrait of Shakespeare smoking.

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'