Tobacco Connoisseur Gifts

'Wait until the tobacco companies hear about this!'

Smoking

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Selling lemon latt�

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'These are job perks.'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"At this office no two days are different."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Allegro con molto espresso

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Espresso Martini Peacock

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Baking

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'