Cigarette Connoisseur Gifts

'Harold took the advice of the 'experts' and only invested in things he understood, which is why our portfolio consists entirely of Anheuser-Busch and Phillip Morris.'

"Try getting life insurance when scientists are always supplying you with tobacco."

'No thanks, I just put one out.'

'I wasn't supposed to stay, but then I got hooked on these things.'

'He says he's down to just one a day.'

Forty Dunhill and three lucky dips... Pathetic loser! Do you look lucky? Whoa, that is so judgemental, I'm a snob!

"Oh, go on. Let them have a go at shooting the cigarette out of your mouth... I mean, it's not like it'll matter if they miss and accidentally hit you."

"Regular or King-Size?"

Carbon Trading.

"I only smoke when I have a lit cigarette in my mouth."

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

'He mistakenly preed mundungo for the aga.'

"Since you won't give me a cigarette, can I have a drag on yours?"

'I gave up smoking, drinking and sex...It was the worst fifteen minutes of my life.'

'Hey, pal - got a light?'

Still smoking section

'Well, at least they DID create a designated smoking area.'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

Caffeine and Nicotine.

Transcending Dental Medication

Devil Smoking.

Nigel Farage

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

I could have danced all night!

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Selling lemon latt�

Party Animals.

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"At this office no two days are different."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'